Big Fat Dream

Hey there fatsos,

I’m sitting here in my living room with this big black toy on my lap ( no no..just talking about my laptop), sipping my poison and hoping all your fat asses are in-the-pink-of-healthily parked in the respective panties. And you know it’s only better if some are, ahem, parked in the same one.

Anyway, so we all dream, right? How often do you dream?
It might sound a tad exaggerated, but I dream daily. I never sleep a dreamless sleep.  Okay now, do not dramatize me by occulting all over this information. I do not get any phantasmal or wraithlike visions. I dream about stuff that might sound weird in a very humanly way. So, do not involve our dear friends from hell who sprout out from beneath the earth and amuse us with their pleasing personalities.

Some of my dreams are recurring in nature. Like, for example, the one which I’m going to discuss here in this post. I dream this one a lot and somewhere deep down the red-blooded arteries of my heart, I believe all fat people do. So, if you do, never forget to high-five this fat-ass dame.

The dream is so beautiful, the butterflies literally suck the nectar out of my belly.

I see a gathering. Not see as much as I feel it. The figures are all blurry and hazy but it feels as if I just entered a place full of people who either hate me or once did not like me being around them because of my fat body. I enter the place all sleek and tall. I’m wearing this sumptuous and elegant black cheongsam and all those people who once despised me and my body seem to be regretting calling me fat and ugly. And I am, of course, not acknowledging anything about their presence but their blown away faces. I move past them with an elegant air. Leaving them behind. I am pretty and suddenly half  of the conflicts between me, myself and the world are solved just like that. I feel the kind of confidence that I once thought only Cinderella’s fairy godmother could gift me. I feel alive.

And then, as usual, I wake up and realize that my fat boobs have fallen out of my bra.

P.S- I started working out today.  🙂

That Fat Girl

 

People who love?

Hey there fatsos,

How’re we doing tonight? I’m going to share some itty bitty information with you because it’s just impossible for me to store it in my head and I need to vent.
 I know a girl, let’s call her Mia.
So, Mia. She woke up one morning not to the rays of sunlight, but to the face of her mother bickering at her ill lifestyle. Sounds to us like a ‘been there done that’ kind of a situation, doesn’t it? It does to me because that roughly describes every morning of my twenty years of life so far, except that instead of my mom it’s my dad who wakes me up. But, this isn’t about me. This is about her.

She was still in bed when she realized it was a Saturday. Saturday used to be the ‘shopping day’ for her family and it, how do I put this delicately, sucked balls. (Trust me, that is delicate)
Mia loved shopping. However, since a couple of years or to be precise, since she got fat, she hadn’t shopped much. She didn’t just dislike it. She loathed it. Saturday was not the day to wait for anymore.
So, whenever the day arrived and the men of the family tied their laces and the women strapped on a pair to go get the bills exchanged for some new cool stuff, Mia always malingered or feigned some errands to run. That one time, though, there was no way out for her. She needed clothes. I repeat, needed. Expelling an “ Ah, What the hell! Just this one time. How bad can it be!” from her fat pair of lips, she went. To shop.  

Out there in the market she could not find anything that fit her. Girls like us: Mia, you and I: we have special stores for us where we can walk in exactly how a slender, sleek and confident girl sashays inside a normal store, picks up a pair of denims with the minimum waist length, hand out the money and exits with the same air, attitude and prettiness about her as she had entered with. Granted, of course, the lofty stone of embarrassment and shame; enthroning our hearts like a glum paper-weight.

Mia entered the store and heard her mother hiss curtly as she did. She would try on a few clothes and then show her mother who would inspect her, grunt at her fat body, reject them outright and hand her another ones. When her elder sister handed her a short skirt, she hesitated, because she hadn’t worn any since she discovered her body peeking out of short clothes making her look like a disgusting fat clown. Her sister insisted her anyway. She tried it on. As she came out, there was a chorus of boisterous, mocking jeers and laughter. And if that was not enough, her mother looked at the sales people and said, still laughing, “Look at how she looks. Dresses don’t fit her even here in a store made for fat people.”

She stood there- a stoned fat body clad in an undersized dress, subjected to such an unkind travesty.  And by who? People who loved her? People she loved? She shut the door at their faces, sulked down to the floor, tears traversing down her face like tributaries of a river, realizing that she had been ridiculed and reduced to the extent of a fat hole in the universe by the people she refers to as her family.
                                          
                                                                                                                                                                             That Fat Girl

 
                    
                           

What’s my name?

Hey there pretty fatsos!

I start this blog today owing to my sudden and desperate desire for anonymity. It is cowardly and all I know, but a girl’s got to do something. I type my first post with my tiny fat fingers to get across a little something about me. I use the word ‘fat’ so much because I have been so closely associated with this word for about four years now that I have started perceiving an uncanny ring to it. And brace yourself because you’re going to read a lot more of this word here.

‘Fat’ is a fat word, isn’t it?  Now when you look at it, it looks so thin, but the effect is indubitably fat. I heard my best friend use that word for me once. And she did not just use it to bad mouth me, she used it as one of the reasons to prove to some guy that I’m a little less than who she is. As piercing as it was, the experience taught me to accept things. Of course it made me even more cynical. Oh yeah I’m a cynical biatch! I think all fat people are. (Prove me wrong here)

This and a lot of other things added up bring me here. I am a twenty year old girl. Dark. Stand tall at an average height. Indian. Fat. Anonymous.  And I’m here to have fun.

So pull up your big panties all you fat people, let’s write to share.

P.S- I’m going to refer to you as fatsos because I find the word cute. I have a bad habit of using words solely depending upon how they sound.

Cheers!
                                                                                                                                                                                   That Fat Girl